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Howard Dean
Howard Dean is an insane, giant pussy self described metrosexual Democrat from Vermont that not even Democrats like. He likes to tell people he's a doctor, but curiously has never been photographed wearing a stethoscope. Political Career The fourteen people who live in Vermont mistakenly elected him Governor twice, both times thinking he was Dean Howard, a local garbage collector. This early political success led him to a futile but entertaining run for President of The United States in 2004. His speeches mainly consisted of him screaming 'Yeeeargh!' repeatedly until the room emptied out. He was ultimately forced out of the Democratic Primary race by the sheer power of Joementum. As a consolation, hardcore left-wingers in the Democratic Party made him Chairman of the mostly harmless Democratic National Committee, where his '50 State Strategy' will no doubt lead to unprecedented Republican successes in the 2006 2008 elections. Stephen's Thoughts on Howard Dean * Pyah! May 16, 2007 Nailing On May 16, 2007, Dean was Stephen's guest in the Axe Body Spray Interview Zone. Stephen asked him why Democrats just don't seem to get as fired up about torture as Republicans do. Dean thought John McCain was Presidential during the debate for being such a pussy about torture. What the hell would McCain know about enhanced information-gathering techniques anyway? Dean called the other Republican Presidential candidates "windbags." After stealing the 2006 midterms, Dean claims that the election was a repudiation of the policies of George Bush, but if the Democrats manage to steal the 2008 Presidential election, it will be "because they have the best candidate." Which is it sir? Do voters hate George W. Bush or love Democrats. Pick a side. We're at war. Dean would vote for the Colbert/O'Reilly '08 Presidential ticket and called The Colbert Report "much classier" than The Factor. Dean will not allow his Democratic minions to debate on Fox News because he claimed it is a propaganda outlet, but then spewed propaganda about how Al Gore invented the environment and would save us all from global warming. Dean is not running for President in 2008 because he can do far more damage as the head of the Democratic National Committee. March 4, 2008 Gay Phone Call For reasons unknown to everyone but himself, Mr. Dean called Dr. Colbert to gloat about liberals being allowed to vote. Then, Dean unexpectedly turned gay when he said "goodbye". Bloggers have contemplated this odd turn of events for hours. June 23, 2009 Nailing * Dean could never give Stephen a kidney because his body would reject it for being too liberal ** book: "Howard Dean's Prescription for Real Healthcare Reform: How We Can Achieve Affordable Medical Care for Every American and Make Our Jobs Safer" * America's healthcare system is the envy of the world ** 50 million Americans have no healthcare * if they don't get healthcare, that number will go down * public option would be like Medicare * old people like butterscotch * Howard would not take his pants off during role-playing * under public option, only ACORN members will perform surgery ** for GOP Congressmen who voted against it * small businesses would benefit under public option * people are afraid of the unknown ** filled with spiders and ghosts Liberal Elite Dr. Howard Dean is a Latte Liberal.